DID YOU KNOW SUZY?

LIKE, YOU KNOW – GET OFF MY BACK – I’VE GOT MY LICENSE

When I was born, my parents owned two cars and a pick-up truck with a camper top. Like, I have two older brothers. I was the only girl. I grew up watching my parents drive. Then, like, you know, when my brothers got their licenses, my father bought them cars and they drove me to school and to my friends homes or to like other places until I got my own license and I could drive myself to where I had to go.

Getting my license was easy because I knew everything I had to know when I took my test. Like, you know, it was really, really, easy. And I finally got my independence. And I was an excellent driver from the very beginning - better than most of the other stupid drivers out there, you know. My Mom and Dad bought me a pretty nice blue used car that wasn’t so old that anyone at school laughed at me, like, you know. It was a Mazda. It did need a new set of tires, was all. Really.

It was raining and pretty windy. My windshield wipers must have been too dry or worn to clear the windshield enough to see well. All my windows and the side-view mirrors were wet from the rain and I couldn’t see anything, for real. I was going over to Pete’s house. A bunch of us were getting together to do our math homework together. I was late because my teacher asked me to stay to go over a paper I had written for English. She didn’t like my “construction.” Construct her!

It was about three-thirty after school and traffic was moving pretty fast. The road was covered with leaves. I had to make a left on Davis to get to Pete’s house and I was stopped behind an old lady’s car, a big old Cadillac, waiting for traffic to clear to make the turn. Finally, finally, she started to turn and I saw I had plenty of time to turn with her. The only problem was she turned too slow and the driver coming opposite had a choice of hitting her car or mine, I think. I guess he chose mine because it was smaller. He was in his right lane at first and then moved to the left lane where I was. He probably hit his brakes but that didn’t do any good because of the slippery road and the wet leaves. I saw him coming and slammed on my brakes. That put me in position for an almost head-on collision. No air bag, and seat belts are against my constitutional rights. I didn’t get to Pete’s house. I got to Saint Peter’s gates. Like, you know.

Good night, Suzy,

Uncle PACKSman

Quick Tip: ALWAYS remain stopped until the car ahead of you clears your safe road entry, and THEN look in both directions for traffic BEFORE moving.